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WORKING TOGETHER TO UNLOCK THE SECRETS OF ADOPTION

Hello.  My name is Jennifer.  I am 22 years old, and for 20 of those years, have known that I was adopted.  I was born January 11, 1982 in Clearwater, FL, to whom I'm still not sure. 

I was adopted in August of 1984, along with my brother, Steven.  He was 4 at the time of adoption.  Our adoptive parents have told us from day one that we were special, that we were chosen.  Most parents don't get to choose their kids, we were told, you were picked out and adopted.  At first I was confused and sad.  Where were my real mommy and daddy I wondered all of the time.  Why were we not with them?  I didn't talk to anyone except my brother for almost a year after the adoption.  I used to bury my head in between the couch cushions if anyone tried to get me to talk.  I was scared.  I was sad.  And most of all I felt alone.
 
 As I got older, my feelings changed.  I went from not talking at all, to talking all the time.  I went from being scared to trying to forget.  From sad to angry, alone to abandoned.   I did bad in school, not concentrating on my work, talking when I wasn't supposed to, getting in trouble.  I tried to hide the fact that I was adopted, but my teacher knew and thought the other kids might find it interesting, She could teach what adoption was. But the other kids picked on me because I was adopted.  They said no one wanted me.  They gave me away.  I didn't have a mommy and daddy. The guidance counselors at the school tried to tell me the same thing my parents did, that  I was special.  I was chosen.

 When my class tried to trace their family trees, to find their roots, I wasn't allowed to participate.  When other kids talked about how they were half this, a quarter that and and a quarter this, I could only say that my adopted last name was Norwegin.

 As I got older, the kids became less harsh, more understanding.  I wasn't angry anymore, I was more mature, able to understand for myself what adoption meant, and even the possible circumstances surrounding the adoption.   To this day I am still confused as to exactly WHY and am currently searching for WHO.  All I know is I'm here, I'm happy, and I love who I have become.  Yes, I went through a lot of crap to become who I am, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
 
  Jennifer