was 14. and I thought I was 'In Love."
Through unprotected sex, I conceived my first child and on December
9th 1974, I gave birth to my son Christopher Michael. Christopher
is his adopted name, but to me he was always my baby Jeffrey.
I was alone throughout my entire pregnancy, and alone for the
labor and delivery. I was scared, hurt and didn't know what was
happening to me. Why did 'they' leave me alone? This set me up for a
lifetime of lack of trust, loss and sadness that followed me through my
I lost my son to adoption. My life after that and still to this
day is somewhat foggy. I turned to addictions that would help me to
"forget and move on" but it never happened. I muddled my way
through life for many years, in an emotional fog.
I received my first computer in 1997 and went straight to the search
engines and typed in adoption. It was there, I found Finding In Florida
and Sunflower Birthmoms.
It has been with the help of these two support groups that I found
trust, commitment, and my lost child.
In November of 2003, I contacted Catholic Charities, and a wonderful
woman by the name of Joan. She guided me through the channels and I
finally met and held my son. We met face to face on February 4, 2004.
I was contacted two days after my first phone call to Catholic
Charities, it was the birth father and he had been diagnosed with a
terminal illness. I then felt the pressure to move on with this
task. The birth father had never had any other children, and now he was
At age 14 and 15 we had no medical information to pass on. We
both had childhood illnesses, but nothing else. Now it was very
important that we pass medical information on to our son, as well as try
to see our son, before it was too late.
Today we are able to share that medical information as well as make a
relationship with our birth son. 'They' say" forget and move
forward, but you can't do that. You can try or you can do what I
did. Totally lose yourself into the darkness of addictions, and
the pain adoption brings to birth moms.
The wonderful wonder of all this is that I am clean, and he is alive, he
is happy and he is well and we are all getting along and rebuilding our
lives together, even with his adoptive parents.
||Lorae and Chris