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I was 14. and I thought I was 'In Love."

Through unprotected sex, I conceived my first child and on December 9th 1974,  I gave birth to my son Christopher Michael. Christopher is his adopted name, but to me he was always my baby Jeffrey.

I was alone throughout my entire pregnancy,  and alone for the labor and delivery. I was scared, hurt and didn't know what was happening to me. Why did 'they' leave me alone? This set me up for a lifetime of lack of trust, loss and sadness that followed me through my years.

I lost my son to adoption.  My life after that and still to this day is somewhat foggy. I turned to addictions that would help me to "forget and move on" but it never happened. I muddled my way through life for many years, in an emotional fog.

I received my first computer in 1997 and went straight to the search engines and typed in adoption. It was there, I found Finding In Florida and Sunflower Birthmoms.

It has been with the help of these two support groups that I found trust, commitment, and my lost child.
In November of 2003, I contacted Catholic Charities, and a wonderful woman by the name of Joan. She guided me through the channels and I finally met and held my son. We met face to face on February 4, 2004.

I was contacted two days after my first phone call to Catholic Charities, it was the birth father and he had been diagnosed with a terminal illness.  I then felt the pressure to move on with this task. The birth father had never had any other children, and now he was terminal.

At age 14 and 15 we had no  medical information to pass on.  We both had childhood illnesses, but nothing else. Now it was very important that we pass medical information on to our son, as well as try to see our son, before it was too late.

Today we are able to share that medical information as well as make a relationship with our birth son. 'They' say" forget and move forward, but you can't do that.  You can try or you can do what I did. Totally lose yourself into the darkness of addictions,  and the pain adoption brings to  birth moms.

The wonderful wonder of all this is that I am clean, and he is alive, he is happy and he is well and we are all getting along and rebuilding our lives together, even with his adoptive parents.


Lorae and Chris