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WORKING TOGETHER TO UNLOCK THE SECRETS OF ADOPTION

I was born 2-2-49 in Orlando, at Orange Memorial Hospital, then taken to Jacksonville, as the story goes.  Was always told I was adopted and was raised an only child.  My adopted Mom passed away in '98 and that's when I searched.

In Oct. '47 my sister was born in Tampa area and she was placed with the same children's home.  Because of her being born first, she was in my files.  I, of course, am not in hers.  We talked for nine months just like we had always known each other, then I flew to Fla. to meet her in person.  It has been a wonderful and fulfilling experience for the both of us and our combined families.  However, we have spent endless hours talking and trying to figure out how to go further.  It's actually hopeless without the birth certificates.  We get so worked up over not being able to do anything, and about all the people in government making decisions for us that lately we just try to not even go that direction.

Our fathers are probably not the same.  One man came to each meeting after we were born.  The man for my sister was an old family friend, and said "yes" he was the father, but the man who came for me said neither "yes" or "no".  I have received from the  home our family background for our birthmother, birthfather, our birth-mother's aunts and two uncles.  Some are not but a few years older than we are.  I also have two uncles, and two step brothers on my birth father's side. 

Our birth mother was notified by letter of our request to communicate with her from the social worker in Aug.'98.  But, several months later she left a message on the answering machine of the social worker "that she knew what the letter was about, but she did not wish to meet us at this time".  So, I used to check every year to see if she had passed so we could go to the next person in line, but now the children's home is asking for $ for every little thing, even though I paid big bucks to start out with.  Since they moved their headquarters to Jacksonville and do not have separate offices around the state they have become very generic and "cold", its definitely a major business now.  I can remember my Dad taking me there when he was alive, he was a large contributor even after I was adopted by him. 

Anyway, we felt the social worker let us down, by not following up with a one on one call to our birth mother.  We felt the answering machine was just not the proper communication that was needed.  Our message to her was that we did not want another mother after all this time, we just wanted to meet any siblings that would be interested in meeting us, or to see who we looked like or had the same interest as us.

I know some people say we should just be blessed to have found and we each are,.truly. There are natural questions  we need answers to.  We need to fill those empty places inside us.  Because of the response of the birth-mother this is a deep, dark secret on her part and she probably has more children she does not wish to share this past with.  But, what about the birthfather - does he get a choice?  Oh well, this could go on forever.