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WORKING TOGETHER TO UNLOCK THE SECRETS OF ADOPTION

I am the mother of a 38 year son who was given up to adoption in 1965.  I was 16 at the time of his birth and was in a home for unwed mothers at that time.
 
I lived in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, but was sent to St. Petersburg, FL for the birth. It must have been the era, because I am sure that my mother was ashamed of having a pregnant teenager at home and besides, it was just "the thing to do," to send the embarrassment away from home.  
 
There is a saying that "Birth mothers NEVER forget," and that is a very true statement.  I have never forgotten his birthday, I remember him on every holiday and think about him everyday.  After all, he is my first-born child!!  I have had the pleasure and tribulation of raising three other children to adulthood and am the grandmother of five beautiful grand babies. I have one other boy and two girls ages 36, 34 and 33, respectively. My second son is the oldest of these three.
 
I/we, my children and myself, have been searching for Wayne Allen Sinopoli (his birth name) for quite some time now, but really started in earnest in September 2003.  My youngest daughter Sandi, accidentally came across the FInding-In-Florida website, and it started from there.  I am also registered on the Torn Asunder website and with the Florida Search Angels. I still need to register with FARR, the Florida State adoption registry and give them permission to release my non-identifying information to my son if he is searching for me. 
 
It has become an urgent search as I have a few medical problems and need and want to find Wayne to inform him of these problems as well as, to introduce him to his birth siblings and nieces and nephews.
 
I have never hidden his birth from anyone, although my mother insisted that it be kept a secret. Secrets, that's another Pandora's Box. Secrets hurt everyone involved in the adoption triad. One of the biggest secrets I've heard of is that the adoptee was never told he/she was adopted in the first place.  Another is the denial of the birth parent that the child is theirs. 
 
Searching is a roller coaster ride of every emotion you can possibly think of...happiness, anxiety, joy, fear, anger at the system, tears and laughter. I am part of the support team for FIF and I love it.  I am here for any person in the triad who needs me. In turn, the group is here for me.  We share happy stories, sad stories...in other words...we are a FAMILY!!
 
For those of you who don't know what the adoption triad is, it's the adoptee, the birth-parents and the adoptive parents.
 
I have a great respect for the couple who adopted my son...they gave him the life I couldn't at the time.  It was a hard decision for me to make, but it was a necessity.  If I had it to do over again today, I probably would have kept my son.
 
The hardest part of signing my son away, was my signing the paper that said I was an unwed mother...talk about guilt...WOW!!!
 
I hope my story will you realize that the decision to give a child up to adoption is not an easy decision for a birth-parent.  It hurts more than anything you can ever know.
 
Thank you for your time.