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I am the mother of a 38 year son
who was given up to adoption in 1965. I was 16 at the
time of his birth and was in a home for unwed mothers at that
time.
I lived in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, but
was sent to St. Petersburg, FL for the birth. It must
have been the era, because I am sure that my mother was
ashamed of having a pregnant teenager at home and besides, it
was just "the thing to do," to send the
embarrassment away from home.
There is a saying that "Birth
mothers NEVER forget," and that is a very true
statement. I have never forgotten his birthday, I
remember him on every holiday and think about him everyday.
After all, he is my first-born child!! I have had the
pleasure and tribulation of raising three other children to
adulthood and am the grandmother of five beautiful grand
babies. I have one other boy and two girls ages 36, 34 and 33,
respectively. My second son is the oldest of these three.
I/we, my children and myself, have
been searching for Wayne Allen Sinopoli (his birth name) for
quite some time now, but really started in earnest in
September 2003. My youngest daughter Sandi, accidentally
came across the FInding-In-Florida website, and it started
from there. I am also registered on the Torn Asunder
website and with the Florida Search Angels. I still need to
register with FARR, the Florida State adoption registry and
give them permission to release my non-identifying information
to my son if he is searching for me.
It has become an urgent search as
I have a few medical problems and need and want to find Wayne
to inform him of these problems as well as, to introduce him
to his birth siblings and nieces and nephews.
I have never hidden his birth from
anyone, although my mother insisted that it be kept a secret.
Secrets, that's another Pandora's Box. Secrets hurt everyone
involved in the adoption triad. One of the biggest secrets
I've heard of is that the adoptee was never told he/she was
adopted in the first place. Another is the denial of the
birth parent that the child is theirs.
Searching is a roller coaster ride
of every emotion you can possibly think of...happiness,
anxiety, joy, fear, anger at the system, tears and
laughter. I am part of the support team for FIF and I love it.
I am here for any person in the triad who needs me. In turn,
the group is here for me. We share happy stories, sad
stories...in other words...we are a FAMILY!!
For those of you who don't know
what the adoption triad is, it's the adoptee, the
birth-parents and the adoptive parents.
I have a great respect for the
couple who adopted my son...they gave him the life I couldn't
at the time. It was a hard decision for me to make, but
it was a necessity. If I had it to do over again today,
I probably would have kept my son.
The hardest part of signing my son
away, was my signing the paper that said I was an unwed
mother...talk about guilt...WOW!!!
I hope my story will you realize
that the decision to give a child up to adoption is not an
easy decision for a birth-parent. It hurts more than
anything you can ever know.
Thank you for your time.
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